Snape, The Ultimate Matchmaker
by forbiddenxsecrets
Summary: Snape does a little matchmaking...unwillingly, hilarity starts, and so does romance. DM/HG, HP/PP, BZ/GW, RW/LL


**Disclaimer: Honestly, if I was J.K. Rowling would I have this crap I call a story? I don't own anything**

My first completed work! I absolutely love the couple in here. Kinda OCC. But again...first time, give me a break. There's a definite sequel.

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><p>I wasn't bothered to look up when I heard footsteps enter my room, but as it got nearer and actually stopped at my desk, I gave it my time of day.<p>

"Minerva, what can I do you for you," I asked with a brow raised to the _lovely_ woman standing in front of me.

She smiled at my question, which got me confused. I raised my brow higher, as if it was possible. "This," she dropped the huge stack of papers onto my desk, with a thud. _What am I suppose to do with this load of crap?_

"You're probably wondering what you're supposed to do with these, Severus. I'll be glad to tell you," walking around my desk and pausing behind my chair she continued, "This is what you owe me, from the time I did your job for Dumbledore's Inter-house Unity stunt."

I cleared my throat and turned around to face her, "I did not forget about your _generous_ action, Minerva, but can't you see that I'm already occupied?" I gestured my head on my own papers.

"Of course not, Severus, but I don't think you get the term 'favour'", she quipped. I sighed in frustration and rubbed my temples.

"I do, but-,"

She slammed her hands on my desk, "I'm not up for excuses! I simply don't care about what you have to do right now! Dumbledore has already been pestering me to get this thing done faster," she was screaming right about now and started ranting, "this unity will be the death of me-," I held my hand up to her face interrupting her.

"Fine, I'll disregard marking these; just stop giving me a headache. Explain what I have to do."

Her face instantly brightened, she wrapped her arms around me tightly, but quickly. I gagged. "Thank you!"

"Just explain and get out of my sight," I glared at her after I straightened myself.

Clearing her throat and presented herself with more class she spoke blankly, "Match the students to their potential romantic partner."

I froze.

After what seemed like 2 hours of frozen shock, I was snapped out of it, with Minerva hitting me on the head.

"What the bloody hell are you trying to make me do," I shot out from my seat and raised my voice at her. She put a hand on my shoulder as to calm me down. It did not work a bit.

"Eight students to pair up won't be hard," she patted my shoulder, turned her heel and exited my room, which I wished she did earlier.

I looked down at the parchments that excuse of a witch left me. Great. The names of the unlucky students I have to pair up. They were well-known names, which I didn't want to see right now:

**Blaise Zabini**

**Draco Malfoy**

**Ginny Weasley**

**Harry Potter**

**Herimone Granger**

**Luna Lovegood**

**Pansy Parkinson**

**Ronald Weasley**

This is _worse_ than what Dumbledore initially wanted me to do.

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><p>He goes there. No she's too good for <em>her. <em>They actually look good together. I don't want to mop up after they fight.

I heard someone whistle somewhere around my class. I searched for the intruder who distracted me from my task. Then I saw her. Mcgonagall. Just saying her name in my head angers me.

She was leaning on the door frame and was smirking, "You done yet, Severus?"

I glanced at my work, I was satisfied, and I guess it's done. With my nod, she stalked over my desk. I watch her scan my work, there's a smile of my face by now. I'm _done_.

"WHAT IS THIS?"

I fell of my chair. I got up and brushed my robes to perfection, then went over to my previous position.

"Hm?"

"You paired them with the same gender! Not only is that, but they're still paired with people from their house," she exclaimed. Minerva poked the parchment hard.

**Potter & Weasley**

**Redhead girl & Bushy haired, loud girl**

**Pansy & Loony **

**Draco & Blaise**

"You have the right to criticize my hard work? I think not," I tore the paper out of her grip and hugged it.

"Certainly. Dumbledore can't think that your pervertish fantasies are mine," she said shivering at the last few words.

I blushed, "You don't know what you are talking about, Mcgonagall."

She threw her arms in the air, "Just fix it!" And left the room once again.

Definitely _worse _than my initial task.

* * *

><p>She came in.<p>

Scanned my work.

**Potter & Redhead girl**

**Weasley & Bushy**

**Draco & Pansy**

**Blaise & Loony**

Criticized my work.

"Okay, you fixed the gender issues, but what is the problem with you not understanding the concept of Inter-House Unity?"

I blinked, "Loony's with Zabini, whose house is totally different from hers."

She looked at me like she was looking at one of her first year students, "That's one pair out of four. That means there's three you didn't do."

Then she left.

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><p>She came in.<p>

Scanned my work.

**Potter & Loony**

**Weasley & Pansy**

**Draco & Redhead girl**

**Blaise & Bushy**

Criticized my work.

"This won't work."

I stared at her wide-eyed. "They're all paired with different houses, Minerva! What else is the matter," I wailed at her. This was getting annoying—what am I saying it was already annoying from the start, now it's the kind of annoying that I get when all my black robes are used, I'm out of instant-wash potion, and all I have left in my closet is the rainbow robe Dumbledore got me for Christmas.

"Yes, however, they aren't compatible," she said nonchalantly.

Then she left.

* * *

><p>She came in.<p>

Scanned my work.

**Potter & Pansy**

**Weasley & Loony**

**Draco & Bushy**

**Blaise & Redhead girl**

Criticized my work.

"I know it won't work…" I began, but I saw realized she was quiet, with a grin etched on her face.

I shoved her softly, "What?"

"It's perfect," she whispered. I continued to stare at her.

She didn't leave.

She just gazed at the parchment lovingly.

Surprisingly, I mimicked her actions.

* * *

><p>"Why do our chairs keep moving?"<p>

"The better question is why yours stopped right beside mine, Granger," Draco smirked at the not-so-anymore bushy haired girl. She glared at him.

For the past 2 hours, what started as an innocent time to study for NEWTS in the library for the fellow students, turned out to be a weird experience of moving unwillingly towards each other.

"Then go back to your table, Scarface, with your Gryffindork friends. No one's stopping you," Pansy informed her complaining _partner_.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, sneered at her, "I would if I can Parkinson, but I can't move out of this chair, now can I?"

Ron groaned, "No, Luna, I don't see those bloody Nargles!"

"Do you honestly think if you touch my hair your hands will be caught in flames," Ginny, the youngest of the Weasley's, laughed at the Italian trying to distance himself from her wildly curled hair.

"Who wouldn't if your hair is worse than Granger today," he snapped back at her.

"Hey," cried Hermione, upon hearing her name.

"I happen disagree with you Blaise on this one," Draco lazily joined in.

"Thanks Malfoy," Hermione put the issue to rest and sat quietly near Draco.

Pansy sighed, "Fine I'll help you out, so you can stop irritating me." She hover her hand over Harry's body.

"I think it's the other way around," Harry playfully replied which earned him a small smile from the fussing girl.

"'Cause you don't believe in them, Ron. Here hold my hand and concentrate with me," the blond girl offered her small, delicate hand to the frustrated redhead. He warmly took it in his clammy hands and for the sake of his sanity concentrated on the invisible creature. He did _not _blush.

"Your hair is incredibly soft. What potion did you use," the once afraid Blaise, was stroking Ginny's hair.

"Told you," she said, "I'll show you how to make it later."

Blaise didn't stop combing his hands through her hair when he grinned at her, "Deal."

"Backing me up earlier does not give you enough privilege to feel me up," Hermione blurted.

Draco chuckled at her prudishness, "Then do tell what would give me the privilege to do so."

"Take me to Homsgeade tomorrow," she challenged.

"Done."

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><p>Seeing the snogging Draco and Hermione in the early morning, Dumbledore turned towards Minerva as we walked together through the halls. "Well, I must say you have an eye for love, Minerva," he complimented her. I was shocked.<p>

She slyly agreed, "I do don't I?" Then took Dumbledore's arm and hooked it with hers, as she dragged him away from me.

That bitch.

Although, this is better than organizing the Inter-House Unity Games, earlier this year; I'd rather pair up students, than organizing an activity game for them. Imagining her misery back then, than what she feels right now, makes me a whole lot better.

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><p>Review, please.<p>

.wink


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